"Cowboy's Guide To Life"

* Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong.
 

* Life ain't about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
 

* Keep skunks and bankers and some lawyers at a distance.
 

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
 

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
 

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
 

* Meanness don't jest happen overnight.
 

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
 

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
 

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
 

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
 

* Every path has a few puddles.
 

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
 

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
 

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway
 

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
 

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
 

* Live a good, honorable life; then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
 

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
 

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
 

* The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm, 'cause the colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
 

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
 

* It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
 

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
 

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every mornin'.
 

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
 

* Always drink upstream from the herd.
 

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
 

* Don't squat with your spurs on.